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Showing posts from October, 2018

What do I want to accomplish with Frank tomorrow?

I've been brain damaged my entire life and that brain damage is mental fog and chronic fatigue Up till 2009.  That fatigue was strictly a mental health issue that was hidden by another mental health issue.  ADHD hiding anxiety. After I got laid off, that mental health only issue turned into a systemic mental and physical health issue that got worse and worse.  ADHD, insomnia, gluten sensitivity, sleep got completely derailed.   Fatigue  Frank,  We've known each other for about four years and that's based on what you and I talked about in the early days of our relationship and that's the shit show known as the Canucks. Benning and Linden became Canuck management in the 14-15 season. Dorsett, Sbisa, Kassian.. fuck what shit show <canuck stuff> So four years. Welp, my brain and body fuckery has been going on for a long time before that.  2009 was the last year I was mentally well and when I say mentally we...

How fatigue has retarded the growth of my emotion muscle

Holy shit. I was watching some lesbian porn.  Lesbea.  Starring Eufrat. Eufrat is a pretty girl that really likes other pretty girls and is pretty damn good at her job. Her foreplay skills are excellent. Foreplay includes kissing. Kissing is romantic. Romance is foreign concept to me. Why is romance foreign to me? ..... Because of my fucking congenital fatigue. So what's the fatigue doing? The fatigue is desensitizing the person's ability to feel the subtle emotions that are required to build stronger emotions like love. .... And somehow this got me thinking about how fatigue is currently fucking up my emotions right now. How I keep bouncing between one extreme to the other extreme. Maybe because emotion intelligence is a muscle?  And this muscle hasn't developed fine tuning due to the fatigue? That actually makes sense. Yeah.  Actually. it does. ....